Inclusive Compass – Monthly Insights: Grief in the Workplace, Celebrating joy and “Take Action, Make Impact”

Light and darkness: grief and joy

In this edition of the Inclusive Compass, Matheus Carvalho, Director of Global Services and Sharon Cooper, Head of Organisational Culture and Development, approach two contrasting subjects: approaching grief in the workplace, and taking in joy in what we do to better support our own mental health.

The contrast between ‘light’ and ‘darkness’ is not unusual to professionals working in the Inclusion & Diversity space, as we approach some of the toughest conversations in society to help dismantle systems of exclusion and oppression. As we straddle that line, it’s essential to keep in mind the importance to look after one’s and other’s mental health, as that allows us to better support others.

Addressing and supporting grief in the workplace

by Matheus Carvalho, Director of Global Services

On 30th August, we commemorate Grief Awareness Day in the UK. Founded by Angie Cartwright in 2014, in hopes to encourage open communication on loss and bereavement and better informing the public on the facts of grief. A definition of grief is:

“…the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person. Grief often includes physiological distress, separation anxiety, confusion, yearning, obsessive dwelling on the past, and apprehension about the future.”

Grief is something that many of us fear, and yet most will experience it at different times in our life in different contexts. Most will relate it to the loss of a loved one, but it can also be caused by different events in one’s life – it could be a drastic change in one’s personal or work life, moving to a different place, and even unexpected relationship changes.

We all experience grief differently

Individuals will process grief in different ways and at different speeds. And it doesn’t always need to be related to recent events in one’s life – having experienced the loss of a parent at a very early age, I understand how the feeling of grief can make a return at different times in our lives, regardless how many years removed we are from that loss.

For those working in emotionally charged roles, these triggers may happen because of the day-to-day at work. For some, it may come with an overpowering feeling that takes complete control of one’s being. It may be accompanied by anxiety, depression, anger, a feeling of loss, or even being at a loss with oneself.

There are also times in which grief comes with a tinge of joy – the joy of happy memories and gratitude for happy times, which come with the melancholy of people that are no longer there. For this, I can’t help of think of one of the most achingly beautiful word that we have in the Portuguese language, and for which there is no direct translation in English: “Saudade”.

While it is linked to the act of missing someone/something, it cuts much deeper than that: it’s a complex emotion, a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia in which you are sad that someone is gone, but also happy for the times you have spent together.

Statistics about grief in the workplace

While grief is a key part of the human experience, it is rarely discussed when it comes to employee support in the workplace. The numbers shared by the charity Marie Curie shine a light on why this is such a pressing workplace topic:

• Most employees (58%) felt their performance at work was affected by their grief months after the death of a loved one. This shows the importance of long-term support for employees who experience grief and how this can have long-term impact on wellbeing and performance.
• Concerningly, 43% of bereaved employees who took part in this study felt pressurised to return to work before they were ready. And alongside this number, it is mentioned that 56% of employees would consider leaving their employer if treated badly following a bereavement – which presents a risk for employers.
• While 1 in 3 line managers (31%) would welcome help on how to support bereaved employees, only 1 in 3 employers had a bereavement policy and often this didn’t reflect what happened in practice.

Take action, make impact: supporting grief in the workplace

• Besides it being a sensitive topic, there are nuanced cultural sensitivities when it comes to addressing grief at work. While some may feel comfortable being open about it, others may feel it is too private a conversation to be had in a potentially public forum as work.
• Take a person-centred approach: ask the individual what their preferences are and what they feel comfortable with when it comes to communicating with others about their experience.
• Many workplaces make use of Employee Assistance Programmes to support staff wellbeing. While they are hugely helpful, offering emotional support and guidance, there is still taboos and misconceptions around accessing the service. Consider having a communications campaign around EAP services.
• If there are colleagues in the workplace who feel comfortable talking about what their experience was like accessing the services, consider giving them a platform to share their experiences.
• Across the UK, there are vast differences in support offered by workplaces to employees who face death, grief, or caring responsibilities at home. There is a lack of consistency across periods of leave offered by employers, so consider if you have a grief and bereavement policy that your employees and line managers can access, with clearer information and guidance on what is available in terms of time off and support.
• Consider that some may have to travel to their home country to be with their loved ones and may require additional time off. Flexibility and different working arrangements may need to be considered.