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Exploring the lived experience of a family navigating the space between accessibility and true inclusion – and why it matters for every workplace.
At Inclusive Employers, we often explore what real inclusion looks like in everyday life – not just at work, but in our homes, communities, and yes, even at the soft play café. My partner and I are both sports fans. The sort who can quote obscure football stats, cry at Paralympic opening montages, and plan our holidays around whether there’s a major sporting event happening. We’re also a same-sex couple parenting a very energetic 3-year-old. Add in the fact that my partner has a physical disability, and everyday life becomes a bit of a team sport too.
My partner doesn’t use a wheelchair or crutches, and she’s not entitled to a Blue Badge, but she sometimes needs a hand carrying things, navigating uneven ground, or walking uphill without feeling like she’s about to audition for a mountain goat documentary.
There are moments when parenting feels like tag-team wrestling. Like trying to get our son into the car when he’s suddenly decided he’s morally opposed to seatbelts. I’m negotiating with a mini barrister, and our little man is halfway through a protest sit-in that is nowhere near his car seat. This, my friends, is where you realise the difference between accessibility and inclusion.
Accessibility is about removing physical or systemic barriers.
Inclusion is about ensuring people feel welcomed, considered, and able to participate fully.
One is structural; the other is experiential.
It means that day-to-day tasks, like the nursery run or a family day out, often involve a bit more choreography than most people realise.
We don’t mind making adjustments. It’s part of life. But it’s the moments when spaces or systems make no room for difference, where we have to contort ourselves (sometimes literally) to make it work, that we really feel the gap between accessible and inclusive.
A step-free station is great. Until you need somewhere to sit.
Let’s start with the train station. Technically, it’s accessible. Step-free entry (sometimes but not always)? Tick. Automated doors? Tick. But we turn up early with a toddler who needs to sit while I locate snacks… and there’s nowhere to perch unless you fancy the floor or a cold metal bike rack. It ticks the boxes on a checklist, but not the ones that matter when you’re juggling fatigue, small children, and snack negotiations.
Or take the soft play café (a setting so chaotic it deserves its own health rating). The entrance is ramped, great. But inside? All the seating is high stools. It’s like playing Ninja Warrior but stickier. At Inclusive Employers, we help organisations audit their spaces and services through an inclusion lens – not just for compliance, but for real-world usability.
That’s the difference. Accessibility is often about structures. Inclusion is about how it feels to use them.
In sport and beyond: we’re invited in, but not thought of
We’ve noticed this in the sports world too; spaces that are technically accessible but not particularly welcoming. At a recent cricket match, we found that the only “family” seating was up a long set of steps with infrequent handrails and a few thousand other fans trying to get to their seat. You could get in the stadium just fine, but only if you didn’t need support to get to your actual seat. Not a huge deal for some, but for us, it meant a lot of awkward juggling and a few strategic rest stops.
And then there’s the concert and stadium set-up that gives disabled ticket holders one accessible seat… plus one “companion” space. That might work for someone with a personal assistant or carer. But what if, like us, you’re a family? Or if you want to go out with more than one friend? Suddenly the message is clear: you’re welcome, but only in very specific circumstances. Only if you bring the right kind of support. It’s a lonely kind of generosity.
Our consultancy work often involves reviewing event accessibility and advising on inclusive design for families, disabled people, and underrepresented groups.
Inclusion would mean asking: “What would make this genuinely workable for different kinds of families?” Not just “what does the building regs checklist say?”
Inclusion often means flexibility over flashiness
The thing is, we’re not asking for 5-star or red-carpet treatment. We just want to feel like we’ve been thought about. Inclusion doesn’t have to be expensive, it often shows up in attitude, not architecture. It is:
- A nursery worker who sees you struggling and offers to carry your toddler’s bag (or toddler on occasions) to the car.
- A café that doesn’t give you a look when you ask to sit at a table with chairs not fancy high-end bar stools.
- A staff member who asks, “Is there anything we can do to make this easier for you both?” instead of “You can’t leave your pram there.”
It’s being met with open mindedness instead of suspicion. With welcome, not just tolerance.
So, what can we do – as employers, service providers, or simply thoughtful humans?
If you’re in a position to design a service, run a space, or plan an event, please ask yourself:
- Are we just ticking boxes? Or are we genuinely thinking about different people’s real, messy, brilliant lives?
- Have we asked for feedback from people who actually use our spaces, parents, disabled people, LGBTQ+ families, and everyone who doesn’t fit neatly in the “default” mould?
- Would someone like us – queer, disabled, exhausted, snack-covered – feel invited here?
Accessibility gets you through the door. Inclusion makes you want to stay.
So next time you see a sign that says, “Accessible Entrance,” ask what would make it truly inclusive. Ask what it would take for everyone, not just “some people,” to feel like they belong.
Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can say to someone is not, “We’ve made space for you.” It’s “We were already expecting you.”
Whether you’re designing a workplace, a customer experience, or a public service, our team can help you move from “technically accessible” to truly inclusive. Find out more about our Accessibility Audits.
At Inclusive Employers, we support organisations to go beyond compliance and cultivate truly inclusive spaces – from policies and built environments to people-first practices. Get in touch today to find out how you can partner with us to take your inclusion strategy forwards.